Things I learned on the Boston Trip

1. Sierra was an awesome bride. She really held her shit together. Nice work Swineberg.;)

2. Bill does the most endearing truffle shuffle.

3. Fat people fly first class. Yup. Cheaper than buying two seats.

4. Flight attendants take safety very seriously. She said, she’d do everything in her power to make sure I’d NEVER sit in the emergency exit row again.

5. A lot of uptight, boring, white people live in MA.They enjoy talking about themselves incessantly to compensate for an inferiority complex. Often, not only are they boring…they’re rude. One shouldn’t mistake (high socioeconomic) class with the other meaning of “class”, because there is no correlation.

6. Bridesmaids dresses don’t hide chicken grease well.

7. Sleep is awesome. I’m lame without it.

8. People mistakenly think if their outfit is expensive, it’s tasteful. WRONG. Even if your muumuu is made of fine silk, it’s still a fucking muumuu. Use your money to get a personal trainer and a stylist.

9. I like lobster, but it’s a lot of work.

10. It’s hard to do any work with degenerates yelling in the same room.

Oh, and New Hampshire is pretty.

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