Isn’t it wonderful how “gay unicorn” is #1 followed by “jesus”?

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A few weeks ago The Dr. Phil Show discussed the topic of sugar daddies/mamas. The website, sugardaddie.com was brought to my attention. Curious, I Googled the website and it came up as the number one listing.

At first I thought it was a complete joke, but have come to realize most of the people are legit. Possibly compensating for chronic erectile dysfunction, the sugar daddies write the most ridiculous crap and think that it’s attractive. At times it becomes trying to determine an accurate character judgment between the random grunts and panting on their ‘about me’ section. For example, “Is 40 million rich enough for you”, “Have you ever dreamed of being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman??!!”, “I’m richer than God. Yeah, I hate me too.” and my personal favorite, written by screen name, DesperateNerd, “When I was a kid, my IQ tested off the charts and the psychologist who administered the test said that I’d go through life on half a brain.” Nothing says sexy like arrogance.

Several creepy old dudes (55+) have said chill-worthy comments. Yes, I’m aware they’re probably sexy senior citizens, but I’m just not ready for old balls. There are a few young, hot, rich guys, but they probably want a glorified hooker, and well, I’m just not down. (yet) My pics actually are quite conservative, based on my fear of being stalked and killed by an affluent psycho. Nevertheless, my pageant worthy pics haven’t detained the pervs from sending me random messages (and they usually don’t have a picture themselves) late at night.

I’ve informed my editor that I’m writing a story on this strange social phenomena and will report back. So far, I haven’t come up with anything too substantial—other than several offers to fly me all over the country from overly eager guys. Based on their approach, I’d imagine they’d begin dry-humping my leg the minute I step out of the plane. Maybe, I’m just silly, but I think I’ll pass on the leg friction.

Here is my profile:

Stay tuned for the final article in six weeks…

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